Bella's Secret
by ocasille
Summary: Jacob enlists Bella's help in buying a Christmas present for his "girlfriend". Bella is holding it together just fine until Jacob wants to stop at a certain store.. Set in Eclipse sometime before the newborn battle.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, and yes there are a few sentences borrowed from Eclipse.  
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><p>"Hey Bells, can I ask you a favor?" Jacob chews on the end of his pencil, staring at his calculus textbook intently as he holds his cell phone to his ear.<p>

"Sure, Jake, what is it?"

"I was hoping you could help me with some Christmas shopping."

What the hell is an Asymptote? Jacob wondered as he flipped to the index at the back of the book.

"Typical guy, leaving it to the last minute." she scoffs. "Only for you would I brave the pre Christmas madness."

His heart rate accelerates slightly from her simple words and he curses himself for being so pathetically whipped, and he has to remind himself again that she doesn't want him. Or at least she pretends she doesn't.

"Thanks, Bells, I really am hopeless when it comes to buying presents for girls." He laughs, thinking back to a few Christmas' ago when the only thing his sisters had received from him were matching socks with the letter R stitched on them. But now that he was older and Rachel and Rebecca were finally coming home for Christmas, he decided it was time to get them something that required a little more thought.

"No problem," Was it his imagination or did her voice sound stilted all of a sudden? "I wasn't aware that you had a girlfriend." she says coolly, and then he understands.

Bella thought he was asking her to help buy something for his _girlfriend_, not his sisters. He almost laughs aloud at the misinterpretation as he hurries to correct her, but something stops him. Bella could think he was with someone else for a day; after all he had to deal with her being with someone else for the rest of eternity. He shivers in disgust at the thought.

"Well, you know, things happen." he replies vaguely, neither confirming nor denying her assumption.

"Yeah," she answers shortly, and it definitely wasn't his imagination; Bella was irked. Irked by the idea that he had a girlfriend he thought smugly.

After she had tried to convince him time and time again that they were nothing more than friends, she was definitely acting anything but 'friendly'.

"Well this is great Bella," Jacob says with a put on cheeriness. "I'm glad we're such good _friends _that we can do stuff like this without it being weird."

"Yeah, it is great." she replies after a momentary pause and he can practically see her clenching her teeth. She probably thinks she's acting perfectly normal, and maybe anyone else wouldn't notice anything out of the norm, but this was Bella, and Jacob knew her better than anyone.

Oh yeah, this was going to be interesting.

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><p>"Hey Bells," Jacob gathers her up in his arms, crushing her to him and for a second she forgets that she's supposed to be mad at him.<p>

But as soon as he releases her it all comes rushing back. Jacob,_ her _Jacob has a girlfriend. Why the hell didn't he tell her sooner? Weren't they best friends? She knew she had hurt him when Edward came back, but she had assumed that they were still close enough to share such important personal details. She couldn't help but feel hurt by his failure to confide in her.

"So, why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend, jerk?" she asks as they're walking.

At least he has the good grace to look sheepish, but all he says is. "Sorry, Bells,"

He doesn't offer any further explanation and she doesn't ask. She finds that she doesn't _want_ to know anything about this girl that has stolen her best friend. She convinces herself that it's because she's mad that he didn't mention her earlier. Not because I'm jealous she thinks adamantly, repeating it in her head like a mantra.

"So, where to my personal shopper?" Jacob asks with a grin. She rolls her eyes in defeat; she can't stay mad at him for long.

They made their way from store to store, talking and laughing as the Christmas music played overhead. In some stores Jacob would hold something up and ask Bella's opinion, at others Bella would suggest something that stayed within the budget Jacob had outlined. Which was actually a very generous budget; he was practically buying for two people.

He must really like this girl, Bella thought sadly, and she wondered just how long this had been going on for. But for some reason she doesn't have the heart to ask.

A couple hours later they were having such a good time that Bella almost forgot _who _they were shopping for, almost. But not for long.

"Oh hey, Bells, let's go in here." She's only half listening as she types out a text to Edward telling him she'll be home soon.

Bella tries to swallow her gasp as she looks up from her phone and follows Jacob's finger..right to the bright pink lettering of the Victoria's Secret sign. Now he was just being a dick. Did he seriously think she wanted to help him pick out _lingerie _to give to his probably gorgeous girlfriend, who would undoubtedly look a million times better in it than Bella ever would?

Wait, why was she even comparing herself to this girl anyways? She was with Edward. Jacob was her _friend_. Why should she care that his girlfriend had an amazing body? Why did bile start rising in her throat when she imagined Jacob even just _kissing_ her? Why did she feel like crumpling down right in the middle of this mall and letting the tears fall when she thought about Jacob telling this girl he loved her?

The questions were stupid, because she knew the answer: she'd been lying to herself.

Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just her friend. How many times had she told him she loved him, but only in a familial way? She realized now how completely backwards she's had it. She was in love with him, in love with her best friend. But it doesn't even matter now, because she's too late. Too fucking late.

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><p>As he watches all the emotions fly across her face, he worries that he's gone too far. He just wanted to get a bit of a rise out of, watch her squirm a little, and maybe, just maybe she would admit that she was jealous. But now she was standing stock still amidst all the last minute shoppers rushing by, staring at the entrance to Victoria's Secret and looking like she was about to cry. He opens his mouth, ready to apologize, ready to tell her that the only girls in his life are her and his stupid sisters.<p>

But before he can get a word out she turns around and launches herself into his arms. He catches her easily, even though he's steadily shocked and suddenly her lips are on his. He groans in surprise, his eyebrows shooting to the top of his forehead, but he's not about to squander this rare opportunity. He kisses her back desperately, marveling at the way her lips were finally moving in sync with his. He pulls back when he hears the disapproving noise of a mother with young children passing by. They were making quite the spectacle of themselves in the middle of the mall.

Bella looks down, ashamed. "God, I'm sorry, Jake. I shouldn't have done that."

Great, she thought it was a mistake. She backs away from him a couple steps.

"I don't think your girlfriend would be too happy to see us together right now. It's just I've realized now -" she cut herself off mid sentence. "but it doesn't matter, I'm too late."

They walk across the aisle to the food court and sit down.

"Realized what, Bella?" Please, please let it be what he thought it was.

"Nothing, it's inconsequential now."

"Bella, nothing you say to me could be inconsequential."

"I love you! Okay? I'm in love with you. But it doesn't matter, because you have a girlfriend now. And it's all my fault, I pushed you away so many times that I pushed you right into the arms of someone else."

He is practically giddy as he reaches across the table to take her hands in his. "Bella, I don't have a girlfriend."

She looks up from their intertwined hands a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"What?" she breathes softly.

"I don't have a girlfriend." he repeats. "All this stuff I've bought today is for my sisters. That's what I called you to help with. You just assumed I was talking about a girlfriend and I ran with it."

If looks could kill..

"Why!" she shrieks.

"Because Bella," he yells back. "you're willing to kill yourself to spend eternity with a leech! I couldn't just sit back and do nothing when I _knew _that you had feelings for me, feelings that are just as strong as my feelings for you. What am I supposed to do when you hand me an advantage like that on a silver platter? Turn it down? Fuck no." He's angry now, something he hadn't planned on.

Her eyes are narrowed menacingly.

"That was an asshole move." He's about to say something but she beats him to it. "But I'm glad that you did it. If you hadn't I may not have realized how much I loved your stupid ass before it was too late."

"I'm sorry, Bells, I was desperate. Does this mean -" He takes a deep breath. "Does this mean you're not changing?"

"No." She shakes her head adamantly.

"Oh my, God," He gets up from the table and pulls her into his arms. "Oh Bella, that's all I ever wanted. I just wanted you to stay alive for me." he whispers into her hair.

"I'm just sorry I didn't realize this sooner. I could have saved everyone a lot of pain.. Especially you,"

"I don't care, Bella, I'm just so fucking happy that you're not changing, and that you're choosing me." He pulls back to look her in the eyes. "You are choosing me, right?" He hates the vulnerability that creeps into his voice, but he can't help it when it comes to her.

"Of course, if you'll still have me."

He pulls her back towards him tightly, his mouth descending down on hers, not caring who was watching.

"Bella, you can take back whatever you got me for Christmas, I already have everything I need."

She smirks playfully. "How do you know I got you something?"

"Because you love me," he reminds her smugly.

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><p><strong>AN: Merry Christmas to everyone, hope you enjoy this Christmasy JB one shot haha. Let me know what you think :)<strong>


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